The contractual obligation blog



I recently asked on my ‘The Way of the Squirrel Books’ Facebook page what subjects people would like me to discuss on my Blog.  I have already covered ‘The Power of Cakes’ in my Blog but now have to cover a topic suggested by my brother.  This subject was not one borne from the tender concerns of a loving brother but more the maniacal ramblings of an awkward, malicious bugger!

When I was younger (so much younger than today) my Dad used to make what we referred to as “Chocolate Pralines”.  They were made of a raison filled biscuit base covered in thick melted chocolate.  They were a thing of beauty.  They tasted delicious and, even though I’m not much of a chocolate person these days, I can still taste them as I type this and it is honestly making my mouth water.

We hadn’t a lot of money when we were growing up so these were a particular treat for us and, once made in a large batch, they would often be included in our school (packed) lunches.  Not everyone at school partook of the ticket of shame scheme that was offered to families on lower incomes and as such would sometimes opt for a packed lunch instead.  Also, due to a lack of family fortunes, I used to take my lunch to school in a large margarine tub rather than in a dedicated lunchbox.  On one particular occasion I went in for school lunch and sat down to eat.  I remember having pralines on this day and had already arranged to trade one or two of them for other items with fellow diners (This was the norm as they were a very sought after commodity with my schoolmates).  I pulled the tub toward myself and slyly opened it ready to begin auction bids for my wares but then quickly snapped the lid shut.  I sat only for a short while before getting up and leaving.

Having clearly not paid adequate enough attention when getting ready in the morning I then spent the rest of the day attending my lessons accompanied by a margarine lunch box that was actually filled with nothing but 2kgs of margarine.

Though I was pleased to have gotten away with the mistake at the table at lunch, due to closing the tub immediately, I was still quite devastated by the mix up.  Having returned home I seem to remember informing my Dad and awaited the comforting comments that would follow.  Once my Dad actually stopped laughing I think I defaulted to sulk mode.  This moment was actually something that would stick with me for some time to come but to this day I don’t know why it had bothered me that much.  And the truth is that, though my son has school made dinners, if he came home and relayed the same mistake to me I know I would not be able to help him for laughing.  I am not proud of this admission but am proud to be able to pass down the life lesson that my Dad taught me, i.e. If you go to your Dad for support in life, sometimes you’ll have to wait until the laughing subsides before the grown up in him kicks back in again.

So, the subject given me to discuss by my brother was margarine and, avoiding the obvious topic of how we were once told that margarine was better than butter and how we now know otherwise, I have had to result to this devastating and life changing admission above.

A friend of mine, an ex Firefighter from Scotland, was once made to eat a tub of margarine as a child by a babysitter after he misbehaved.  To this day he cannot stand to eat butter or margarine so in the big scheme of things perhaps I should count myself lucky with my own personal close shave with this ungodly substance but if others can learn from these stories then this will have all been worth it.  So, for those who were not aware of the dangers of margarine, next time you cross the road take just one more look…when you decide to walk down the stairs in the dark, think again…next time you think about cycling at night without a helmet, consider your options.  Margarine is out there, it knows where you are and might strike at any time.

“Show You Care, Be Margarine Aware!”

Good, well that’s the obligation of this ridiculous blog suggestion satisfied.  Note to self, don’t ask family members what blogs they may want to see written, they are not your friends and were merely put on this Earth to ridicule you.  DOH!

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